Tales from the Coffeeshop: Prezniktwo undecided over a round two? What a joke

CAN WE believe a word Prezniktwo ever says? In an interview, broadcasted by ANT1 on Monday night, he said that he would decide whether to seek re-election in 2027. And this will depend on how much of the government’s work he has implemented. “I have decided that during 2027, always on the basis of the implementation of the government’s work, I will make my decision.” So, if he has implemented all that the government set out to do he will not stand. Is there anyone in Kyproulla with half a brain who believed this? The man started planning for his re-election on the day he was elected Prez and he has been engaging in his re-election campaign ever since, with the daily boasts about his great achievements at home and abroad. Would he be making two to three public appearances every day if he were not seeking re-election? The fact that he is never in his office working suggests the implementation of government’s work will not be completed and he will be obliged to seek re-election to finish the job. WOULD a Prez not interested in re-election have increased the number of Diko ministers in his cabinet reshuffle? Two Diko members joined the cabinet in Tuesday’s reshuffle bringing the total to four, not to mention the deputy minister for tourism, Costas Koumis who was due for the axe, but was kept. If you add the three Dipa ministers, who were all former Dikoids, that means seven out of the 11 ministers are of the Diko ideology, which is based on the teachings of the great party leader and former president Spy Kyp. If Nik were not seeking re-election, he would not have filled his government with Dikoids as Ethnarch Junior had commanded, but he needs to keep Junior sweet, just in case he does not implement all the government work and is forced to go for another term. It would be impossible to secure a second term without Junior and Diko. THE APPOINTMENT of former Edek Paphos deputy Elias Myrianthous as commissioner for the environment and animal welfare also smacked of electioneering. He will gather votes for the prez in Paphos, but he is unlikely to benefit the environment as he is some kind of accountant. Moving Clea Hadjistefanou Papaellina from the deputy ministry of social welfare to the deputy ministry of culture was an act of mercy. Even the Prez felt sorry for the daughter-in-law of one of the wealthiest men in Kyproulla, who had generously contributed to his election campaign both in terms of cash and TV coverage, having to deal with the suffering of the great unwashed. It was an unfortunate appointment, and Clea had to be moved to a more glamorous post for the Prez to make sure of the continued support of the Papaellinas business empire. She now will deal with artists and intellectuals rather than the impoverished lower classes. THERE is one politician who, in contrast to the Prez, has already made up his mind about standing in the presidential elections. Akel’s candidate in the last presidential election, Andreas Mavroyiannis, has volunteered to stand for the commies in 2028 as well. He announced this on Politis radio, although he acknowledged that Akel had not taken any decision and respected the party’s internal processes. His desire to stand as Akel’s candidate explains why in the parliamentary elections, in which he had no involvement, Mavroyiannis urged people to vote for the communists. Former minister Erato Kozakou Markoulli also urged people to vote Akel last May, which could be a sign that she might volunteer to be the Akel candidate. FOR A MAN with an engineering degree, Archbishop Georgios talks a lot of airy-fairy nonsense. Last Sunday, speaking at the memorial service for Makarios, he urged us to adhere to the principles embraced by Makarios, warning that Turkey would not be satisfied with new concessions. “For Makarios compromise was not unacceptable, unconditional surrender was unacceptable,” said Georgios. “These principles were defended by Makarios’ lifetime. We have to listen to him to survive.” Considering that under his presidency the Cyprus Republic’s territory shrunk to 60 per cent of its original size, we would be rather foolish listen to him. Does it not occur to Georgios that by following Makarios’ principle of unyielding struggle, we have unconditionally surrendered 40 per cent of the Republic’s territory to Turkey, which I suspect Turkey is very satisfied with. SPEAKING of Makarioses, the cops and the attorney-general appear to really have it in for the living Makarios (Drousiotis), who is now at the centre of a second criminal investigation. Already facing 100 charges for the alleged spreading of fake news relating to the Sandy case, Drousiotis is now being investigated for alleged personal details violations in his book Mafia State, which was published four years ago. Have the AG and the cops just noticed this, considering the contents of the book were the subject of a big investigation by the anti-corruption authority that lasted two years and found there was a probability that criminal offences had been committed? The ‘Sandy’ case and charges can be justified, but digging up a violation of personal details in a book published four years ago and ordering a criminal investigation smacks of persecution against a journalist and a threat to free speech. Usually, violations of personal data result in a fine being imposed. Has such a violation now been upgraded to a criminal offence because Drousiotis is involved? IT WOULD be a bit rich of the AG to initiate a prosecution about the content of Mafia State in connection with some trivial violation of personal data, while having completely ignored much more serious allegations also in the book relating to Preznikone. Staying on the subject of rule of law, I would like to ask the AG if he is planning on ordering a criminal investigation against the Pez Nik II for spreading fake news, like saying he has not decided whether he will seek re-election? If that is not fake news, I do not know what is. THE ODYSSEY is still packing in the crowds, three weeks after its premiere. I went on Monday and the 8pm show at the Nicosia Cineplex was sold out, so I bought tickets for Tuesday, which incidentally was also sold out, according to the sign at the box office. It was a rare pleasure to watch a film in a packed auditorium – although it makes it difficult to go out for a pee – considering most times I go to the cinema the audience might not exceed 10 people. I suspect Marvel movies still pack an auditorium, but they are not for me. The film was a super production that kept the audience glued to the screen, but I was very disappointed with the director Christopher Nolan’s portrayal of Odysseus (played by Matt Damon) as some 21st century, sensitive, metrosexual, tormented by guilt and pain for his actions in the Trojan War. This was not the real Odysseus, the alpha-male we read about and looked up to at school. In this weird world we live in, even the heroes of antiquity must possess 21st century attitudes or be cancelled. I HAD no problem with the black Helen of Troy and the trans soldier, as I understand the presence of minorities are obligatory for any film with Oscar aspirations. But to see Homer’s brave, resourceful and often ruthless warrior, who survived thanks to these qualities, reduced to a bundle of insecurities, ashamed of his actions and feeling great guilt for coming up with the idea of the wooden horse, was a cop-out. And he was such a sensitive and caring man that he never lay a finger on Calypso, on whose island he lived for seven or nine years, preferring to use her as his therapist and drug pusher. Perhaps he did not touch Calypso for fear the Me Too movement would turn on him. Nolan just wanted us to believe that Odysseus stayed with Calypso because he had lost his memory and libido. Perish the thought that he stayed because he was having a lot of good sex with a very attractive woman.